Home is Where the Hygge is

"Home is Where the Heart is."

-Pliny the Elder

I never used to really understand this quote: what do you mean home is where my heart is? Home is home! Long Island, New York- that's home! But it's not actually that clear cut. Home is not the wood and nails of my house or the block I live on, it is a place where you feel comfortable, loved, confident, and happy. Studying abroad has given me the opportunity to learn how to listen to my heart and find home in other places than, well, home.
Studying abroad has surely given me confidence; throwing myself into a strange environment was not easy. My home town is small, my college campus is small, but "Copenhagen as my home, Europe as my classroom" that doesn’t sound so small. I have been given the opportunity to travel to many different countries and have gotten to see so many new places. I've always dreamed of being a world traveler, but to be honest I didn’t even know my way around an airport. Learning to travel and all the responsibility that comes along with it demands confidence, and once you feel confident in traveling internationally it opens so many new doors. One day I was in Paris the next I was in London; there is such a wide world to see and so much to learn from it. Feeling confident and being comfortable within cultures different from your own is a valuable skill. It’s about acknowledging the differences, making connections and appreciating both. Living amongst the Danes and visiting various other European cultures has offered me the chance to see the world in a plethora of different lenses. Seeing a situation from different perspectives and approaching arguments knowing that people have their own way of seeing things, prepares me for living confidently and successfully in a global world.
If we bring things back to practical skills my experience has given me, living in Denmark has forced me to tackle the giant that is public transportation. I take a bus, a train and the metro in one trip to school alone. I quickly had to learn my daily route and be flexible in my commute plans, because sometimes rejseplanen tells you take the 147 bus but it'll throw you for a loop and say the 152 is best this time.  I had to learn to no let change upset me and make me anxious. So a change in the bus doesn't seem like much to get nervous over , I know, but public transportation in general was a change for me. I walk  five minutes to class everyday at home and here I had to adjust to an hour commute with multiple line switches. Even through something as tedious as taking public transportation, I have seem a change in my self confidence. I'm not afraid to take different routes and find my own way around. I've learned to think of different places to get somewhere and that can be said for more than just what bus to take, but also more figuratively about life choices in general.
Through this experience, I've become confident that I can take my life in any direction I choose and that no matter where I end up, I will be able to find my way around; I can thrive in any surroundings. But this experience has not just been about gaining confidence and opening professional pathways for me . Finding somewhere you can be intellectually and financially secure is part of creating a home but what is more important to me in defining my home is the comfort, love and happiness I feel.
For a time I viewed the idea of home as a sterile, concrete definition. This is where I grew up, it is where my blood relations are, this is home. I now know that home is a fluid entity, it is an abstract definition. Yes, where I grew up is home, but not for the logical reasons I had attributed to it before. It is home because I am happy there, I am comfortable, people I love and that love me are there. However, these emotions are not exclusive. I can create a safe warm environment anywhere and my parents and my siblings are not the only people I can love as family, my host family has shown me this.
Signing up for DIS I knew I wanted to live in a home-stay, because I felt it had so much to offer and it was the best route for true cultural immersion; it didn't hurt that my home university required me to do home-stay. Either way, it was the choice for me, though I was a bit nervous about how it would work. I just wanted it to not be awkward and I didn't want to get in my family's way. I was going into it with the wrong mind set, I was counting my host family as a separate unit from myself. I am part of the family here; they welcomed me with open arms, and for the past months they have cared for me and as well I have cared for them. My host family has taught me how to find support and love in others, to let new people become a big part of my life and to not be scared to rely on others: ask for help. I cannot express in words how much I appreciate my host family, never did I expect to feel so loved and really consider these people, who once were strangers, to be my family. This experience has open my heart to let others in, I have learned to approach others with compassion and to accept them into my life and heart. I had underestimated the dimensions of my heart, there is endless space for new people to love and each addition will have its own spot, it's own breed of love.
Part of feeling comfortable in Denmark, came from learning some Danish. I think making an effort to learn the native language not only put me in an open disposition for understanding cultural aspects but also helped me to feel a part of that culture. To me, Danish is one of the nicest languages I've ever heard. I don’t really know why but I find those pesky extra vowels and the awkward soft d sound to be just fantastic. I quite enjoy learning the language - I find it fun to tackle it’s hard pronunciations- and I am also delighted by the fact that is has helped me bond with Danes. Many times at social gatherings with my host family or neighbors I have been asked to show off what I know- "Can you say rødgrød med fløde?"-  but it actually is a way to engage me in conversation with them. As well when they slip naturally into their native tongue I can still keep up with the conversation to some extent, which makes me feel included. Learning a new language in general has lasting effects on the way we think, other languages may take different approaches to why they assign a certain word and it forces you to see that word and what it represents in a new light. As well speaking with someone who is learning the language can also be an eye opening experience. When I speak with my host-mormor she sometimes uses a totally unpredictable word yet it makes logical sense to use it when you think about it. It really makes you analyze your own language and do some self-reflection on your own culture.
Living in Denmark has given me a whole new outlook on life. In fact I have dedicated myself to living the hyggeligt life. The idea of hygge has to be one of the best gifts Denmark has given me. Hygge and happiness are intertwined, and living with the aim of hygge will surely promise me a life of happiness. Achieving hygge doesn’t require extravagance or opulence. Hygge encourages me to not be materialistic, to cherish the company I am in, to appreciate the little things in life and to slow down and enjoy each moment. It is good to remember that happiness cannot be bought, and as well it can come in many different shapes and sizes. Hygge cannot be directly translated, and I think this is important to note. It is not strictly defined, it can be whatever you feel is hyggeligt. A life is not defined by the things a person had, the things you owned aren’t tallied up and every last bill counted.  Life is a compilation of memories and emotions, the good times along with the bad, spent with people who matter. Hygge helps me to focus on the good times, so they are there in my memory for the bad, and to appreciate the people around me who make me feel happy, warm and safe.

My soul has surely been molded by this experience. I can now be a confident person no matter where I go, and even if I'm not at first, I know to trust myself and embrace my apprehension. I can appreciate cultural differences and take different perspectives to a challenge. My heart has been opened to accepting love in all different forms and I have learned to live for the little things, for the hyggeligt moments. I have learned to accept other people and places as my home. Home truly is where the heart is and my heart is big enough to be shared among many homes.  I can find love, comfort , and happiness wherever I choose and it delights my heart to know it has a whole big world to call home. And as I move on from my time in Denmark, I will leave a little part of my heart here, to pick up later when I come back home again.